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NOW SHOWING!! Just Released TUESDAY, MAY 21, 2013
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THE LAST STAND
2013; $24.98; R.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
steps back into the genre he invented decades ago. Yeah, he's decades older, none the wiser, and hip-deep in
LA gangs, drugs, kingpins, gunfire, hopped-up cars, sexy hostages, private armies, and FBI agents lead by
Forest Whitaker. Peter Stormare makes a chilling mercenary, and Jaimie Alexander is one hot hostage (she's
also in this movie). One of the dumbest things we've ever seen, but given the genre that's not meant as a
slight. Big Dumb Fun on a scale they haven't made since back in the day; our kinda flick.
We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.
Jason Statham is in his
element here in, what is for him at least, just another tough-guy-with-a- code-to-live-by actioner. After
being left for dead he tracks the baddies, lead by Michael Chiklis, to Palm Beach where the movie
immediately changes gears as Jennifer Lopez steps into the mix. Bottom line: This is a Jason Statham movie:
There are Bad People and Good People, always well delineated; there are hot women, there are fast cars,
there is lots of impossible gunplay. Of COURSE we liked it!
A COMMON MAN
2012; $16.98-24.98; PG-13.
Oscar-boy/The
Mandarin Sir Ben Kingsley plays a chilling terrorist -- an invisible, average citizen whom no one could
imagine as a mad bomber -- in this oddly PG-rated, ripped-from-the- headlines thriller. Why haven't you
heard of it before? It's a ''revenue flick'' filmed in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Not the greatest film we ever
saw, but anything with BK in it is OK by us; with Ben Cross, both of whom really need new agents. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.BARNEY: DANCE WITH BARNEY
2013; $9.98-14.98; UR.
That
purple monstrosity morphs into ''BarneyT,'' a hip-hop DJ to teach kids all about groovin' to the music,
whether it be klezmer, ballet or violent, bloody slam-dancing. Okay, we made that last one up, but you get
the idea. Over an hour of welcome wear-them-the-hell-out activity for harried moms. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.CAPTAIN AMERICA (1990)
$10.98; PG-13.
This little-seen
tale from two decades ago has a plot similar to 2011's ''Captain America: The First Avenger'', but none of
the budget, starring Matt Salinger (son of J.D. -- really!) as Cap with help from Ronny Cox (''RoboCop''),
local-boy Ned Beatty, Darren McGavin and Michael Nouri. The film is mess, but only because the producers
refused to put a dime into it. The cast, however, gave it their all and the film is damned fun to watch. All
previous releases were based on a murky VHS, but this is a pristine Blu-Ray with some nice bonus goodies.
Belongs in every Marvelite's video shelf. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.COME UNDONE
2000; $14.98; R.
A first-rate French look at
first love. A young man (Jérémie Elkaïm) is having one last vacation at the beach with his family when me
meets another young man, which leads to skinny dipping, which everyone knows is the gateway to dancing
nekkid on the beach and painful sex amid the dunes (damned sand gets EVERYWHERE). But can any fire so hot
burn for long? We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.DARK DEALER
1995; $14.38-16.95; UR.
We love anthologies,
and this generous mix of the supernatural, sex and silliness has been a guilty pleasure of ours for some two
decades now. A trio of frantic men find themselves playing blackjack, and each new card advances the tale of
how they arrived at this point. Not really a terrific film by any means, starring no one you ever heard of,
but entertaining nonetheless with a slam-bang finish. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.DONNA LEON'S COMMISSARIO GUIDO BRUNETTI MYSTERIES: 17 & 18
2007; $26.98-29.98; UR.
Two episodes of a mesmerizing, long-running German-made police procedural filmed
in Venice, Italy. Crime novelist Leon is a masterful writer, using the canals, culture and neopolitan
delights of Venice in creative ways to feed the investigations of Brunetti, a razor-witted detective,
frustrated by the system and with zero regard for the rampant incompetance he sees around him. Episode 17 is
a perfect introduction as he looks for the killer of a 10-year old girl from a marginalized community which
fears the police -- and with good reason! Some of the most engrossing TV you'll ever see; highly addictive,
highly recommended. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.EL SICARIO, ROOM 164
2011; $24.98; UR.
A raw introduction
to a real-life hitman for the Mexican druglords, a man who has admittedly killed hundreds, often after
kidnapping and torturing them for days -- some of them while serving as a state police commander in
Chihuahua! Yet, despite having a quarter-million-dollar price on his head, he has never been charged with
any crime, any where. Here, his face obscured under a black hood, he calmly explains, doodling on a white-
board, how he did it all for this Italian documentary. Chilling. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.LOVE SICK LOVE
2012; $22.98; R.
Katia Winter
(''Dexter's'' Nadia) takes down her philandering boyfriend (Matthew Settle from ''Gossip Girl''), forcing
him to experience an entire year's romantic holidays over a single weekend, locked in her isolated country
house where no one can hear his cries of happiness. Veteran thesps Charlotte Rae and M. Emmet Walsh help to
keep this classy. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.MOLD!
2012; $12.98; UR.
In 1984 the government creates a
killer fungus to wipe out cocaine fields, but it has a teensy side- effect: it feeds on human flesh! And it
has infected everyone in the lab! And if it escapes the entire world could perish! An old-school no-budget
B-movie like they used to make back in the 60s: no sex, no blood, lots of overacting and a focus on great
on-set special effects. Fun. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.NIGHTFALL
2013; $26.98; UR.
An intriguing Hong Kong
murder mystery about a famous pianist found dead, with his brutal murderer (Nick Cheung) easily identified
-- but it's what happens next that makes this so good. As the detective (Simon Yam) digs deeper he uncovers
20 years of lies and deceit, all pointing to a family secret too insane to imagine. Oh, and there's plenty
of gunplay, chases and chop-socky to tide you over between plot elements. Damned entertaining. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.SILVER CASE
2011; $19.99-21.99; UR.Eric Roberts (do we
really need to go on?) Leads this brain-dead action-comedy about ''The Senator'' (Roberts), a powerful
Hollywood producer who concocts a plot to ruin his top Tinseltown competitor, ''The Master'' (Brad Light).
And it all revolves around a briefcase that gets stolen by a pair of morons. Watch for Nectar Rose (her real
name!); she played a stripper in ''Independence Day'', and was Lenore, the devoted love-bot in
''Serenity.'' We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.SOLDIERS OF PAINT
2011; $19.99; UR.A few years ago 5,000
Oklahomans reenacted the deadly D-Day Invasion of Normandy ... using paintball guns. While you could argue
that such a gathering -- done as a game in which the Germans could win -- disrespects and trivializes the
sacrifice made by thousands of soldiers, you have to give credit to the makers of this doc who filmed it,
then edited it all into a truly frightening and suspenseful pseudo-war-film in the best of Hollywood
traditions. Includes lots of great commentary by those who lived through both battles. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
2012; $18.98-29.98; UR.
''Glee''s
Chris Colfer, a highschooler destined for big things, is struck, er, by lightning in the parking lot,
proving that it is better to give than to receive 100 zillion volts. He dies instantly. The rest of the
movie revisits his last few weeks of life, including a dark scheme with gal-bud Rebel Wilson (who is
friggin' hilarious!), his alkie mom (Allison Janney, ''The West Wing''), his absent dad (Dermot Mulroney,
''My Best Friends Wedding''), and dad's pregnant new girlfriend (Christina Hendricks, ''Mad Men''). Colfer
wrote this surprisingly funny dark coming-of-age drama when his was 18; definitely worth your time. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.THE ABCS OF DEATH
2012; $23.98; UR.
The most ambitious
horror anthology ever conceived: 26 short vignettes created by dozens of the worlds' most celebrated genre
writers, directors and actors, each focusing on the topic of death. A true ''WTF?!'' outing, the result is a
surprising mess that veers from horror to comedy to torture to scifi to flatulence to child-rape to
overeaters within its dizzying 2-hours-plus. Is it any good? Well, some of it stinks, but with so much to
choose from there's literally something for every taste everyone (assuming you're a bit cracked). We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.THE AQUABATS! SUPER SHOW! SEASON ONE
$14.98; PG.
This
admittedly assinine show is a guilty pleasure of ours, a goofy blend of live action, animation and music
that reminds us of the ''Banana Splits Adventure Hour'' (1968) -- with a bit of ''Red Dwarf'' thrown in for
good measure -- which never fails to lighten our spirits. Five shameless guys in low-rent superhero outfits
mug at the camera and launch into over-the-top adventures peppered with fake commercials, space-aliens,
faux-80's songs and supervillains. From the creators of ''Yo Gabba Gabba!''; trust us, if you've never seen
one of these, you are in for a geeky treat. A must-own for any age. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.THE GREAT ESCAPE
2013; $14.98; UR.
The long-overdue Blu-
Ray release of one of the world's best flicks, with one of the best-ever ''bumpbump, ba bee da dumpdump''
theme songs, courtesy of Elmer Bernstein. Steve McQueen, James Garner, Richard Attenborough, Charles
Bronson, Donald Pleasence and James Coburn escape from an inescapable Nazi POW camp in this spry and upbeat
comedy/drama based on a true story -- with a screenplay by James ''Shogun'' Clavell -- for director John
Sturges. Simply awesome; a must own. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.THE VISITOR
2011; $14.98-19.98; UR.
This sensual drama
from Germany introduces us to Cibrâil, a young Turk working as a policeman in Berlin and living with his
beautiful girlfriend. But all is not well and the reason becomes clear when he meets her hunky male cousin.
The attraction is instant, all-consuming, and completely natural, but is it worth all the drama? We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.TOMORROW YOU'RE GONE
2012; $14.98-29.98; UR.
Stephen
Dorff, Michelle Monaghan, and Willem Dafoe combine talents in this somewhat artsy attempt at a crime drama.
Dorff is indebted to incarcerated Defoe, so he agrees to perform a hit when released. But then he meets
Monaghan on a bus. For some reason she takes him home explaining, ''We all have layers''. Skipping the
double-entendre, we skip ahead to the hit going south, putting both Dorff and the girl in danger. Kinda
weird but fun. We've already done the shopping for you!
Check here to see what we found.